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Parental Control - Options Vary for Internet Restrictions

MADISON, WI - It’s 4 p.m., and do you know where your 16-year-old daughter is? Sure, you say, she’s at home from school, doing her homework. You wish. Chances are she’s probably taking advantage of the time you’re at work to visit all sorts of chat rooms, websites and to instant message her “friends,” including those she just saw an hour ago and those she has never met in person.

Unfortunately, as most parents now know, the Internet has matured at lightening speed. According to Joshua Finer, Internet safety expert and CEO of Software4Parents.com, one out of five kids has been sexually solicited online, and one out of four kids has been sent a picture of naked people or people having sex online.

Even if you’ve set rules on your children’s computer use, are you sure they are following them? How can parents get control of their children’s computer time? The best way is to have a plan that includes, at least,

Finer’s five tips:

1. Your children should never give out their personal information to anyone online. Make sure to tell them this includes their name, address, phone number or anything else used to identify them. Stress that people may pretend to be someone they are really not.
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2. Talk to your children often about what they do and who they are talking with online. Tell them what you consider OK, such as chatting online with their friends you have met in person.

3. Do not keep a computer in your child’s room. This can create a sense of privacy, and they may be tempted to do things they shouldn’t online. Put their computers in public areas, such as the family room.

4. Help your child choose an appropriate screen name for chatting, e-mail and instant messaging. Choose one that doesn’t reveal names, sex, hobbies and that isn’t provocative.

5. Use technology to your advantage. Monitoring software helps you review your children's Internet usage. Even if you don't look at each and every email or instant message they send, you'll have a good idea if they are making smart choices online.

Software
Currently, a plethora of software exists to help parents manage their children’s Internet usage, as well as other options offered by internet service providers. It’s important to research all the options and come up with a solution that’s right for your entire family. Different capabilities include blocking children from certain websites, tracking which sites they visit and with whom they chat, blocking e-mail or chat of a certain nature, and setting browsing time limits.

ISPs
Some Internet Service Providers (ISP) are now offering monitoring solutions for their customers. Among the most recent to add the capabilities is the partnership of SBC Yahoo!, which offers dial-up and digital subscriber line (DSL) service. Both types of customer will benefit from the new “enhancements,” which include the ability to set up accounts for each child, and tailor the security features for each. Each child can have separate web-browsing freedoms and also time restrictions. And if a child doesn’t like the restrictions, he or she can send a plea to Mom or Dad in the form of an online permission slip.

“The online permission slip allows the child to check what they’d like to access and send that to their parent,” said SBC Spokeswoman Kate Brennan. The parent can then give or deny the child access online. Also accessible online is a report card that shows parents what sites their children have been blocked from, Brennan said.

Charter Communications, which offers cable-modem-based broadband connections, has a deal with MSN8.

“We currently have a relationship with MSN whereby we market a co-branded version of MSN8 which includes parental control, among other things like junk mail filters, shared browsing, etc.,” said David Andersen, senior vice president, communications. “We will also be marketing ‘Charter featuring MSN Premium’ in the fourth quarter, which consists of a co-branded version of the next rev of MSN8. Our core product does not currently bundle in parental control as a standard feature although we are considering this as a potential addition to our core product in 2004.”

America Online is heavily marketing its AOL for Broadband service, which works with high-speed internet connections. The service has some parental controls, including it’s AOL Online Timer, which lets parents determine the number of hours their children can be on AOL - and when, including times of day. After each AOL session, AOL Guardian e-mails detailed "report cards" to the parent, with information about how their children are using the Internet so they can take immediate action, if needed.

Think all of this is a little too Big Brother-like for you and your kids? Consider this: on May 21, 2002 a child died. It was the first death of a child linked directly to an Internet predator. Taking a few precautions now and always communicating with your children could prevent a situation you would never think could happen to you.

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Jennifer Braico is a freelance writer and a frequent contributor to the Wisconsin Technology Network. She can be reached at jen@wistechnology.com.

Comments

Mary Melton responded 5 years ago: #1

I find all this internet restriction on children a little too much. If parents allow their children to use the internet, they should have enough faith in the child they have raised to use it responsibly. Sure it's okay to talk to your child about the dangers of the internet. But is it necessary to have a detailed report of every website they have been online? That's like asking e for every show they watched on TV, or every person they talked to at school. Children deserve some freedom, but more importantly, some privacy. How would you feel if every action you made, every button you clicked, had to be justified? Parents, please give your children the opportunity to grow up, you can't shelter them forever.

JF responded 5 years ago: #2

How would you feel if it was your child who was dead??? You'd probably wish "all this internet restriction on children IS NOT a little too much". I'm all for the having faith, trusting your child and even giving the freedom and the privacy, but as parents, we should still have the right to know what goes on in our children's lives... NO MATTER HOW OLD THEY ARE! Constant and continuous communication is a MUST! I believe that everything starts from the home... but as much as I would like to also believe that a kid (or any individual for that matter) will ALWAYS be responsible no matter how you raise them, is a completely different story. I also agree about giving the children the opportunity to grow up and how we can't shelter them forever, but again, as a parent... as a nurturing and responsible parent, raising and GUIDING our children is also OUR responsibility.

ES responded 5 years ago: #3

Just because parents have a list of every website and chat conversation their children have had doesn't mean that they are going to ask their children to justify the websites and chats.

As parents, the emotional safety of our children is our responsibility. Some of these wierdos out on the net exploiting children are very sneaky, and children may not realize what they're getting into until it's too late. That's why we need to monitor what our kids do on the net. Often this has nothing to do with trusting them and everything to do with protecting them.

Libby responded 5 years ago: #4

i have blocked my child from nudity, Sex, Video Games, Boys & Girls Barefeet, Ebay, MSN, Chatting,Vilonce and more.

I belive my child should only use the internet for school work and reseach.

Kalon responded 4 years ago: #5

Restrictions for our children are nice but by overdoing it as you have done is simply communistic. I agree that we should have trust in our children, but they still deserve their privacy. By overexerting our control over them we will completely discourage them from using the internet altogether. The internet can be both an excellent resource and a means for play, let them go along with their business as long they dont go to any Neo-Nazi or similar sites.

R. Martinez responded 4 years ago: #6

A child can have privacy when he/she goes to the bathroom or when he/she is getting dressed. Once they turn 18 and are considered legal adults, they can go ahead and have more privacy "priviledge". As long as they live under the parents roof, they need to abide by rules, rules that may not be fair, but will keep them safe in the long run. I was raised by my grandparents, old school and with an iron fist. I never did drugs, and never commited any crimes. I hated all their rules and the lack of privacy, but I am alive and well and are a father of 4 thanks to them. I go to school for my Bachelor of Science in Information Systems Security (Network Cops). I have 2 computers at home and it gets accessed by my 7yr old daughter. There is absolutedly no way in hell that I am going to allow her to spend more than an hour per day on the computer or the Internet. I get enraged when I hear of these cildren that get hurt or even worse, lose their lives because their cowardly parents want to give them their "privacy and space" in order to keep their children happy and not be the "bad guy". A child needs to earn your trust. No one is the perfect parent. We were children once before and now that I am 26, I can still remember all the things I did that my grandparents didnt want me to do. Children will listen only 50 percent of the time. The other 50, they spend it trying to figure out how to do what they are not supposed to do, without you knowing about it. If you let yourself go by a stupid belief that a child can be trusted, then you might as well get ready to dig his grave. The internet could be considered a gateway to hell if left in the hands of a child. A computer is not a toy. It is not for children to have in their own rooms under closed doors, no matter how well taught and educated they are. For those of you who agree that we need to set security policies for your child's computer then you should check out http://www.watchdogpc.com/ . WatchDog is one of the best security and policy software in the market. This program allows me to set user accounts for my daughter and set the ammount of time she is allowed to be logged on as well as what times out of the day she can log on. She is restricted to only 6 kids websites including noggin, pbskids.org, and others. If she tries to go to another website that is not listed by me, it won't happen. I have the computer set to where the start menu is hidden, she cannot access the right-click context menus, and she cannot run any programs other than her Disney games. She can type the "My Computer" command on internet explorer and it will not take her there. All drives are hidden as well as the recycle bin. Everthing that's on the desktop are her games shorcuts as well as her website shortcuts. Before I even let her touch the computer, I sat her down and explained to her the rules of computer usage and the policies. I told her and showed her news articles of the children affected by sexualk predators and the dangers of chatlines and Messenger programs. I explained to her that all computer and internet activity will be logged as well as any keystroke, and as she would get older, I would set less restrictive policies according to her level of maturity and responsibility (earn her trust). Is this too much restriction for a 7 yr old??. What business does a 7 yr old have clicking folders and files and making settings that do not belong to her, or surfing websites that she should not view. I work full timre and I study full time and my wife takes care of her and the other 3. We don't have too much time to be sitting next to her and monitor her computer activities. Rest assure that while she may think that Daddy is a "jerk", she can look back when she is 23 to 25 years old and thank me for being an awesome protective jerk. I will not bury my children. My children will bury me.

dark-werewolf responded 4 years ago: #7

IF you shelter your kids and be rats and watch what they do online they have no spacve i guarantee you talk to any one right before they kill themselves its their parents fault if they weren't originally mental unstable i mean moniter the bad people if your kids think you trust them, find out you dont (with no reason you nosey sobs!)then they will rebel against you tghis will lead to GUARANTEED ALWAYS LEAD to rebelling where they will do drugs and alcohol and have sex. you need to grow up and stop acting like you have a right to disable another persons needs for your own selfish little smallthought process

dark-werewolf responded 4 years ago: #8

i despize the close minded nature of some of you people. Your children will hate you btw i have full computer acces and i am raised lightly but morality has been instilled on me and i have grown up ALWAYS doing what was right and ALWAYS knowing the difference between right and wrong. I mean you wont like my opinion, cause it differentiates from your own, close minded self i mean you think every person is a pedophile? shoot man you got a lot to learn when you hit 35 or so hit me back we talk. then you be smarter if not in to the right state of mind. well martinezs to you i have this to say when your daughter gets about 14 shes going to stay out late and going to do everything you weouldnt let her do as a child for instance check this out go online and compare drinking ages and alcohol related deatsh in teens from other countries to usa we dont allow teen age drinking and our kids 1st chance they get try alcohol they screw up. then they die whereas, other countries with smart parents their kids know what alcohol can do and probably have a higherr alcohol tolerancer than usa kids... what your agfraid of is your kids gonna ask about something you dont know and im sure that consists of 99.9999% of all possible BASIC knowledge

John responded 4 years ago: #9

this is funny, oh so funny. hey you nuts who think you can moniter your kids. guess what you CANT! I am 14, and my mother tried to pull that and installed SIX different types of spyware and web restriction progrsms on my computer... including a keylogger.

guess what, I had them all off within an hour, I then procceded to install spyware on HER computer, to see how she liked it...

she still has not noticed...so you think you can control your kids online? let this be a message to your.

you cant. (PS: I wrote the spyware progs myself hahaha)

SIERRA responded 4 years ago: #10

IT STILL WONT LET ME CHECK MY MAIL

Rosejol responded 4 years ago: #11

First of all dark-werewolf...learn how to spell and write. If you are going to be on the computer, at least use it for educational purposes because you need it! John, grow up! It isn't all about spying and being overprotected of your children. It is about being educated. It is about being aware of what is going on. I suggest to John and dark-werewolf to do some actual research on why it just might be a good idea to be a little percautious as to the hazards that CAN happen from retard online usage...you know, like the retarded stuff you two do! Children and adults have been killed, raped and tortured all from people they have met online. I think you two need to get a clue and wash your mouths out with soap!

Freak responded 4 years ago: #12

It isn't necessarily having parental controls, that makes you rebelious, but how you're raised.
And it could screw you up, when a kid has unreasonable rules, yet their parents don't set out a good example.
Privacy is important for a child, especially for a teenager.

Watching everything they do, and taking away their privacy will cause anger in a child, sometimes..
For me it did.It will, for some kids, get them into deeper rebelion.

Really depends on the parents, though.

brandon responded 3 years ago: #13

I say it's not a good idea to block Internet sites because I'm a kid and my favorite game site was blocked by my parents.

Tina responded 3 years ago: #14

Honestly, I am a teenager, and I agree with most of the parents on there. And now, it's mostly one Internet site that gives the Internet a bad name.


MYSPACE

leah responded 3 years ago: #15

I do not believe that the Internet is the problem. The problem, and part of the reason why children are dying and being injured by internet predators is because they don't know the difference between right and wrong. When children are young, most of them are taught not to talk to strangers, and especially not to give out any personal identifying information. If a child gives out personal information to any stranger, including in "real-life," the risk is just as great. As a college student, I will admit that I have talked to people in chatrooms. I did not however, give out any personal information or even think about actually going to meet one of them. As long as children are responsible and know appropriate Internet etiquitte, they should be fine.

Johanna responded 3 years ago: #16

I am a young adult and i never had any parental restrictions in place on our home computer and i feel that although this had allowed me to have a certain amount of freedom and my parents raised me well, a parental control is a useful tool
but in moderation. To restrict all non-educational site is an extreme. I feel by having some minor restrictions, it basically stops temptation to veer from what you had set out to do. Older parents, especially, should use controls as we do not accept that many have little or no computer experience, and this puts their mins to rest in a world full of uncertainties.

hayley responded 3 years ago: #17

what is wrong with myspace!?!? all i do is talk to my friends from out of state or town!!!

Brandi responded 3 years ago: #18

I really can't believe all the controversy that has been stirred up with children using the internet. The internet is not the problem and as long as parents continue to blame the internet, the real problems are sneeking out without any attention at all. What about your children's safety at school? This has become more of a problem than anything. These days, there are countless shootings from all over America and worse, predators can now walk through any school at any given time, DURING SCHOOL HOURS, and rape innocent children. I think society should start thinking of ways to improve the safety of children during school hours instead of wasting their time trying to prevent computer usage. Its the norm for parents to stir up what they feel they have control over and point all the fingers on computers as if they're the sole problem with keeping your children out of harms way. This is so typical. Parents ignore the fact that there is no way to completely keep your children safe unless you home school them and keep them locked up in a closet like one parent did here recently. Its just the facts of life. Children learn most of the things parents try and shelter them from through people at school, especially when they attend a public school. There are so many bad influences these days and your children are facing them every single day. This is the reason why they're curious to visit sites they shouldn't be. People don't just make up stuff out of the head without being exposed to it at some point in their life. If a person never heard the word sex throughout their lifespan and was never talked about what it was or anything, they'd never know it existed. Children become curious when evil children at school expose them to things at an early age. This happens all the time. So many parents raise the children incorrectly and these children are in the same classes that your child attends each day. Its part of life and right now, there's no way of monitoring what your children hear or become exposed to at school. This is just life. We all know this because we've all experienced it. I believe that private schools can help tremendously. Parents that claim they're concerned of their children's safety and well-being should have invested time and effort to allowing their children to attend a private school. The children that attend a private school are more behaved because their parents pay for that strict environment. This will also allow for your child to earn a better education because most public schools are crap. Again, its just a real shame that society is always blaming the wrong source. Its been in our nature to have our heads pointed in the wrong direction. This has been witnessed throughout all of our history books. I urge everyone to put more effort in developing a system that provides safety while your children are at school. I believe this issue deserves more attention than anything. How can parents actually sleep at night when children are being rapped, shot, and snatched up at schools?

Cuh-ris responded 3 years ago: #19

I don't like restrictions!!!! It's not helping me do my research for school!

The Watcher. responded 3 years ago: #20

Ignorance is the way of many. This proves further evidence.

Jessica responded 3 years ago: #21

The problem here is that the people who are getting upset about invading a kid's privacy or "sheltering" children from the outside world are assuming that it's the kids we don't trust, or that our kids are going to feel that we don't trust them.

If you allow your child to participate in online chat, they could be having a seemingly innocent conversation with a predator. It doesn't take much to find someone. A child could be talking about the school they go to, after school activities they attend, a movie they are going to see, all the while believing they are talking to another child. A seemingly harmless chat online can expose your child to dangerous predators.

It is absolutely our responsibility, as parents, to monitor what our children are exposed to. I think that if we are honest with our children about why we are doing it, and let them know that it is not them that we have trust issues with. In the long run, they will understand and appreciate it even if it's 10 or 15 years from now. I would much rather have my children upset with me than lose one of them forever, or have them go through the horror of being abducted, molested, tortured, raped, or murdered. This is not a safe world and our children need to know that, and we absolutely have to do what we can to protect them.

Platinum50 responded 3 years ago: #22

You cannot use the argument of children getting molested and raped on the Internet. As parents, it's your job to tell them about what can happen if information is given out. Nobody may realize, but parental controls can sometimes make things worse because the children under them will see it as a game to beat the system. They will try to find some way around it; trust me, I know. This is partly why some kids try to develop their own programs, which is not hard. And i do agree with Cuh-ris because Internet controls do not help anyone do their homework. It makes things worse because some of the sites that can be extremely helpful and full of information may be blocked because of nonsense.

Katherine responded 3 years ago: #23

Hey I'm 14 and I am actually amazed at how completely ridiculous some of this stuff is. When you block your teenage child from MSN do you even properly understand it?

I'll explain: To talk to someone on MSN, you have to have their address or they have yours and before they can interact, the person who has been added has to accept the person who has added them. At any moment you can block or delete anyone you don't wish to speak to and they have no means of contacting you using MSN.

Also it IS scientifically proven that being denied something increases your desire for the particular thing inducing rebeliousness and a lack of control from the parents. If you ban everything but educational sites it just increases temptation for kids to explore other things online. And don't try and argue that that is a reason to prevent them from using the Internet for these means because, trust me, where there's a will there's a way and we/they will get to where they want to if they want it enough.

As for the people who use these overly harsh restrictions to gain respect from their children, the chances are that this won't work on the modern generation of technology reliant kids. And do you not have other means of gaining respect; such as caring for your children, being firm but FAIR (Note Mr. R. Martinez) and being understanding and sympathetic to their needs.

Another thing: Do you really think that just because it may be there, all children will have a constant burning desire to view pornography and the like?

And in my opinion, educating the children on the dangers of giving out personal information on the Internet is perfectly sufficient; though there may be pedophiles, they have no means of getting to your child unless they are uninformed or ignorant enough to agree to it all.

I have been well brought up and I have never in my life been tempted to go on these sites. Being well brought up doesn't mean being wrapped up in cotton wool for your whole life - far fewer children die as a result of the Internet than do on the roads; do you try and ban cars or stop your children from going out of the house?

P.S. John, I'm impressed.

Alison responded 3 years ago: #24

Hi,

I'm Alison and yeah I'm a teenager. My dad has currently installed watchdog, which is a parental control which enables him to view what I'm doing etc, as well as put a time limit on my log in site. Personally, you need to let kids or teenagers have their freedom, becuase as they become older, their social lives are going to increase and it's unfair for them to use their phone. As a reult of reading this page, and the comments that have been left, I'm astonished that so many parents have let their kids have so much freedom but in many ways that's better! But what do your kids really want? Just ask them!!!

joey kline responded 3 years ago: #25

Get free, non-violent online games.

Jason responded 3 years ago: #26

Why do parents get to control our lives? Why can't we control our own? Like when we do something good, they always take the credit for it.

dgo responded 3 years ago: #27

It is obviusly necessary to trust in our children, but we should take into acount that they learn or experiment everyday with new things which make them feel curious and the desire to understand those things, so that fact plus their innocense could provoke that the most educated child be involved in such as a disgusting situation like that. Then, in my opinion, the comunication is the best factor helping us to protect our children against those sicks, because it will permit us to realize when something is wrong with our children, leading us protect them. Remember, language is for comunication, if you don`t practice it with your family, someone else could do it.

Rebecca responded 3 years ago: #28

The problem with these programs is that while in theory they mean well, in actuality they cause major difficulties. When we first got our computer, my parents grew concerned over the horror stories about kids and the internet and set up parental controls through AOL. Unfortunately, these were huge overkills that blocked websites like Microsoft, AOL help, and even the websites of universities - all on a "mature" setting. The natural response might be to have the parents unblock these kinds of websites, which was not nearly as easy as it sounds. When attempting to do research for papers, I had to constantly get my parents to unblock sites like Wikipedia, making the projects twice as long, not to much exhausting. When we finally got sick of it all, we discovered that turning the parental controls off didn't even work - we had to uninstall the whole thing manually.

While I do think that it is excellent for parents to be concerned and keep an eye on their kids, there are other alternatives, like keeping the computer in a family room, limiting the time they spend online, and casually checking in on them from time to time.

azn_pride3845 responded 2 years ago: #29

As a teen, yes I do understand the need for parents to monitor what their kids are doing. I completely understand that. They want to know what we're doing and they want to protect us from supposed "predators" on the net. I get what they're trying to do, but I see both sides of the issue.
In one way, I really don't think that monitoring kids' activities on the net is fair. Kids deserve their privacy. They should be able to do what they want, as long as it is not unsafe, such as giving out personal information or viewing porn.

However, I think that kids should do all of this "stuff" in their free time, when they have finished their homework, chores, etc. That way, they will not stay up too late trying to do what they coul have finished a lot earlier; homework. I personally do not believe in doing things at the last minute. Having kids spend time on their computer before they have not even finished their homework contributes to that.

But as a teen, I WANT kids like me to be able to spend their free time on whatever they want to do. my personal favorite is checking my e-mail and going on Myspace. In both of these things, I do not communicate in any way with people, I do not know. Even on Myspace, I give/accept friend requests only to people I know personally. I know the dangers of communicating with strangers.

One of my friends' cousins, who I know very well, had agreed to meet a person she met in Facebook. The result? She was raped. Since that time, my parents have been trying to monitor my e-mails and my Myspace. But I told them that I needed some privacy, and I told them to trust me. They did. So even now, to this very day, I have not ever yet abused my use of the computer because that would mean that I lied to my parents, and I would never do that.

Basically, I know what both sides are trying to get at.
PS: John...be nicer...all I do to my mom is I monitor HER e-mail. I know the password, but it was actually easy to find out. It's my b-day.

MM responded 2 years ago: #30

I am a fifteen year old "child" (or so my parents think...) under some of these parental controls and I think that they are a bit much. I'm a good kid, I'm not stupid, and I know what I should and should not do online. But, parental controls lead me to wonder, "What have I done wrong?". I have never given my parents a reason to not trust me and they know that I am mature enough to handle internet situations. And yet whenever I try to get on Facebook or Myspace a little window pops up saying "We're sorry but parental controls do not let you access this website." Then it has a little advertisement for its own website. But is this really helping me? No. It is a hindrance for my homework and anything else that I want to do on the computer. For example, in health class I am doing a movie on Anorexia and Bullimia. But, most of the pictures that I am looking for are blocked because of content. This is quite aggravating. I do not understand why these pictures will "scar my young mind" or "be absolutely disturbing on my impressionable youth". Honestly, when the block is stricter than the one at my school, that is definately something to worry about. There are ways of getting around it, but so far not much has worked. But, I'm getting there. So, I feel that blocking sites and pretty much everything else is probably not the best idea. If parents don't want there kids doing certain things they should sit them down look them in the face and give them a few good reasons why, instead of just installing a cold, little impersonal message saying what they can and can't do. Maybe then I'd understand what my parents want and don't want.

Kristal-Ann responded 2 years ago: #31

There should be restrictions because if you hide us from the world, we won't know how to act when we get older. You can't hide the world from us all our lives.

Kristal-ann responded 2 years ago: #32

you Can't hide us all our lives.

Kristal-ann responded 2 years ago: #33

how are we supposed to learn anything new if you hide us from the world.

in24n6 responded 2 years ago: #34

Some of you don't have a clue as to what is out there available on the Internet. You should spend one day in my world and see what the Internet predators do just to entice children into taking nude photos or even meeting them in person. Then there is all of the children who have been victimized as a result of the sick and twisted people who think having sex with a baby is cool. You better believe, as a parent of 3, my kids will have no privacy when it comes to MY computers that they are using. They will know that it will be monitored but they will not know how. You see my kids are fortunate enough that their dad is a forensic examiner for a Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force. I see disturbing photos and movies on a daily basis; the kind that make you want to go take the law into your own hands. So when you ask me if my Internet, the one that I am paying for, and my computers, the ones that I built, will be monitored; you better believe it. Again, come spend one day in my world and the question of monitoring your kids online activities would be an absolute and resounding YES.

David responded 2 years ago: #35

The internet should never be restricted. I am on the debate team and our current topic right now is to discuss whether the internet is too free and open or not. I TRUELY believe that it is not. What about ones right to publish, or right to free speech. Another point, i noticed that almost all the controversy was over what is acceptable and what isn't on the internet. Thats the thing!!! Different people have different opinions. Some people think one things acceptable while it isn't to other people. It cannot be clearly defined. My parents stepped in once with these blocks and it did not help at all. It made things more complicated and getting homework done or research (which is what most people think all the internet is good for) was not even possible. The block restricted everything. Now, imagine that happening to you, or the government stepping in with bans. It would be hell. So, hopefully some people will see my side of this topic...and agree with me.

Jacob responded 2 years ago: #36

I'm 13. My parents do not restrict my Internet usage, and if they did I wouldn't be who I am today.

If they had thought anything with "chat" in it's name was evil, I'd never have gotten anywhere with Python or Django (freenode.net#python has helped me out on countless occasions). I also help people (yes, adults) actively on Sitepoint and Experts-Exchange. It is possible to talk without flirting, and if someone needs as little cause as the words "you're missing a semicolon in line 52" to take a sexual interest in me, they may as well hang out in the neghiborhood and grab the first kid to walk by.


Nor would I be able to converse with my friends; IM is an unobtrusive and opportunistic way to have a real-time conversation. (To call someone is to interrupt them, and you don't call people just to talk, and face-to-face communication requires planning in advance.) I'd never have real conversations if my parents supervised them - I'm pretty sure my parents didn't have tape recorders, GPS trackers, and shock collars attached to their persons at all times - this is what Internet monitoring and filtering solutions are analogous to in the physical world.

We wrote This I Believe speeches in Language class, and this was my topic.

Clockwork responded 1 year ago: #37

Hello. I am sixteen years old and came across this article while doing a research article on wether or not pornography should be restricted.
To be frank, I am appalled at the mistrustful and controlling parents out there. In no way is the internet only used for just schoolwork and research. The Internet is a vast community that allows not just adults, but teens to communicate to other people around the globe. It connects those who would never had been connected.
Maybe what this is what fears you. What you can't see with your own eyes isn't really the whole truth to you. This why parent/child communication is vital. My mother sat down and told me that she trusted my values and knows that I am more responsible then to let information out to random people. Till this day, I have never given out such information. Why? Because I'm not stupid and my mother knows this. That is why she never moniters my computer, has no restrictions on my computer and approves of my communication to those around the world. She trusts that I wont make another one's mistake.
I will not play ignorant and pretend that my peers do not do irresponsible acts online. But that is not my problem. You don't trust your child? Sure then. Go ahead. Use those restrictions. But I feel sorry for you and your child.


What people believe is that we teens out just messing around on the internet, flirting, and chatting up a party. This is incorrect. A vast number of communities allow teens like me to come together from all around the world and discuss real life topics. The Presidental debate, child abuse, personal problems, interests, hobbies, share thoughts and debate over things as insignificant as circus animal rights. As a young women, I feel comfortable and safe around the people I talk to. I feel trusted.

-Clockwork

Apparently I can't tell you that responded 1 year ago: #38

Thanks Clockwork this DID help me with my essay !!
Mr.-cough- really gets worked up over citation. -sigh-

This article was interesting and although had some appropriate tips, and I mean SOME, I absolutely cracked up over Tip Four.

-sits child down-
Okay honey, you can't have
a username that gives your
name, sex, or hobbies kay?"
PFFFT. What does the heck does that
leave you? 354135415 ?? Oh ! and If you're
feeling jazzy maybe you can make into a
pattern 0404040404.
OooOOOooo.
Come on. I strongly enforce that children should
not be on websites that they shouldn't be on but, guys, if my child ever wants to have a username
that says "swimmergirl" or "Horsesrock" or some equally unoffensive name then I'm saying yes.
That username will not get your child raped or kidnapped.
Giving out further information will. But a simple
hobby and sex? No.
Individuality IS allowed -gasp-

Tine who responded one year ago and probably will
never see this but oh well, is absolutely right.
Stupid teenages on myspace giving out information left to right is heavily weighing down teenager maturity. Problem is? Most people have an account.
So when people go to view what a teenager acts like, where do they go? Myspace.But, guys, Restrict that see what kind of revolting cult is going to arise and screw you over. I hate myspace but a llooot of people don't. A lot.

Kelly responded 1 year ago: #39

I'm 14. And i am also truely amazed at how people act on here. You get so stirred up over internet restictions. WOW. I came on this site to get ideas for a debate that i'm doing for school and all i get from this site is fighting between one another. As a teen i do go onto myspace, facebook etc. But i use my internet ethnics and i'm fine. I mean come all its common sense not to give out personal information. If you do, then you shouldnt be on the computer AT ALL. So for all you parents that are control-freaks loosen up on your child, the only thing your gonna get out of is, is your childs hate for you. There gonna rebel against you, and hate you. Take it from someone who knows, my dad is like this and i tell him the same thing. HE FINALLY LISTENED!!!! so i suggest you do the same too.

P.jayy responded 1 year ago: #40

im 13. and all of this is just plain bull. There should not be restrictions on the internet. Parents you should know that children are not dumb. Obviously they know what to and what sites not to go on. You restrict what your child does and if you are trying to put it off on the governement to do it for you then you shouldnt be a parent. my mom trust me. you need to trust your children or just dont let them on the internet. act mature i suggest you do too.

Tyler responded 12 months ago: #41

Come one People! You child should know what to and or not to do on the computer if you trust them on it. Putting all this blocking crap (Which my parents dont) just pisses us off! and the whole "No computer in the room" thing STUPID! I have one in my room and I am fine and visit regular sites other Teens do (ex. Facebook, myspace, Twitter, things like that) not Porn! So if you don't trust your child don't let them on the internet!

logan responded 11 months ago: #42

Im seriously amazed at this... who the hell would block there child from going onto sites such as Facebook and Myspace all it is is a social thing the individual can control who there friends are and what information goes out. I dont know what I would do if I didn't have Facebook, it's a problem solver as well!

Gluepot responded 10 months ago: #43

Hello I'm a 17 year old teenager. I use the internet more than anything else I have had about 700 msn contacts so I've met my fair share of odd creepy and perverted people. To be honest I think most of them are fairly obvious. Ok call me sad my best friends I only know from the internet and tend to live over 200 miles away. Even my girlfriend is 500 miles away and I have never met. As a teenager I get constantly bombarded by people finding they have had a horrible experience of the internet. I don't have much care about myself to be honest. Only recently my parents have even found out about this. they were quite concerned. There is no reason to be after using the internet and computers for a long time. creepy people and evil sites become rather obvious. A big thing at the moment is social networking sites, these have been putting their security up and safty up for a while now. As I don't have much care for myself I think everyone should get total freedom but at the sametime should be taught, educated and given advice about What is acceptable. (notice the word acceptable there is no such thing as right or wrong.) At the moment I am rather annoyed at school as the council has just made everything even more restrictive to just the extremes. Nearby schools are reporting they can't even get onto the BBC website or search engines. Because of this and the age I am at I have a fair bit of free time and I can't do anything with it, Except search through sites and the main computer to find ways to bypass things and edit security. This is very 2 sided, kids vs adults. I can see where the adults come from but from experience it doesn't work so well and I am with the kids. The whole of society is too over protective. Adults need to see things more from a what they they like to have done to them kind of view and then things can change becasue at the moment kids have no power.

Gluepot responded 10 months ago: #44

I forgot to add this. Whatever there is, is because there is a demand for it. Don't pretend something isn't there or cover it up. This just prolongs the time till they find it. Tell people about this stuff. Ask the kids what they've found. Then explain the reasons for why it is not good to go on it. depending on how you explain this depends whether they will listen. If you are a good parent they will understand and listen. If you're not so good they will find a floor in your reasons and come to they're own conclusion either way this is good as it helps the child make decisions for THEIR life.

gluepot responded 10 months ago: #45

Oh heres one little thing. On Bebo and Facebook there is an application called Ask The Experts. people ask other people for advice. It has become a small community and people know each other reasonably well. The amount of posts from young people ask for help about such trival things and things that a lot of people our age want to know. Most of it they just couldn't talk to with an adult or even a friend. The users range from 13 to 25 (the 25 year olds have experience and bring people to the real world.) There are people who mess about on it called trolls they tell people horrible things but some can often be harsh and true at the same time. They stand out from the rest of the community and people know what to expect from them. I have learnd all sorts from this application, from political views, to love, to mental disorders. This is a perfect example of how the internet can help and be used for a countless number of things but also becasue it is using a social networking site it is looked down upon and gets blocked.

Penny responded 5 months ago: #46

I have a young daughter just getting onto the internet and it is not that I dont trust her, she is a very good girl, but its more about protecting her.
I have found this service which is just about to come online called 8snaps.com which Ive signed up for the trial. Doesnt block or log anything but takes screen photos.
Hope its as good as it sounds...

Jose responded 15 days ago: #47

by putting restrictions to your kids, you are putting curiosity into their minds, and someday, will get around those restrictions and watch everything she couldn't see. What you are trying to accomplish could have been done by educating your child the right way.

Michelle responded 13 days ago: #48

Ive also signed up for 8snaps.com - it takes snaps of your kids computer screen and saves them online.

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